In the past, it’s been hard for me to deal with this concept. It not only applies to relationships, but friendships and even sometimes family members. There comes a time when you have to let go of the negative people that hold you back in life. The people that don’t see things the way you do — the ones who try to belittle your dreams, mock your big ideas, discourage you from your passions.
We all have our own personal struggles to deal with in life. Why bring around more negativity than what already surrounds us in the world? It’s important to have a core support system surrounding us.
Relationships
For some reason, we always view the past better than it really was. We often wonder “what if” or “if I had just paid a little more attention, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.” Nothing is farther from the truth. People come and go in our lives, and each person who was there was MEANT to be there. Even further, each person who has left was MEANT to leave. I genuinely believe that life is a series of lessons learned through our interactions and relationships with people. Relationships allow us to reveal our vulnerable side and push ourselves out of our comfort zones. We learn attributes we never even knew we had — positive and negative. Bottom line, have faith that if someone is no longer in your life, it is FOR. A. REASON. Don’t sit around hoping, waiting and wishing for something to come back to you. If it’s meant to be, it WILL be… on God’s timetable, not yours.
Friendships
I personally struggle with maintaining friendships. I get so wrapped up in life — I’m a slave to my job, the gym and my studies. I still have fun when I go out and see people, but it’s not as often as I’d like. I made a goal to create more meaningful relationships and build on the friends that have stuck by my side (the ones that really matter). But I also made a goal to let go of the people that are no longer beneficial. They serve no purpose, really… and I’m saying this in the nicest way possible. Sometimes we outgrow friendships. When you go to lunch and the only common ground is the food you’re ordering — it’s time to move on. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, who believe in your dreams and ultimately people you look up to on a personal or work-related level.
Family
This is a tough one. We can’t really disown our family. However, we can distance ourselves from the negative people. I’m not saying we should all just stop answering the phone when “that” person calls, but if your conversations are constantly dragging you down and sucking the life out of you, maybe limit the time you spend per week talking to them. Luckily, I don’t have any family members like this… uh oh, does that mean I’M that family member (bulging eye emoji) 😉
Be strong enough to walk away from the things in your life that no longer serve a purpose. Relationships, hobbies, even your job. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you’re truly waking up unhappy on most days, it’s time to reconsider where that unhappiness is coming from. Is it coming from within? From our relationships? From that job you dread going to?
Reevaluate, never stop growing, and most importantly: never give up on your dreams.
Health Nut Julie 
I have been dealing with a lack of support on my dreams from certain family members and it was so great to read your post knowing that I shouldn’t feel bad distancing myself!
I’m sorry to hear that 😦 It’s hard when the people who are closest to us don’t support what we’re doing. However, it’s ultimately OUR lives and we have to live with our choices day in and day out. If they see you following your dreams and being happy, they should be happy that YOU’RE happy!
Brilliant. I love this post!! I have a hard time with one person in particular who chose to leave my life and two years later I still find myself wondering “what if”. I’ve gotten better at accepting and moving on. But it’s been a slow process. I just have to trust my Heavenly Father and His timing and will for me. If I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and living a good life, everything will work out just fine.
AMEN SISTER. It’s always on his timetable… not ours. That’s a hard thing for me to accept to. We will both meet someone great in due time, and it will most likely happen when we’re not expecting it at all! 🙂 And I totally agree, all you can do is show up to life each day and make the choices you feel in your heart to be right and the rest is already taken care of! xo <3333
Great post Julie and I can definitely relate to the friendship one- its times when your most busy and stressed with work etc which gives you a smack bang reality check of who your real friends are. Even family members too who want you to do things ‘their way’ or what is good ‘in their eyes’. At the end of the day, it is our happiness at stake.
Thanks, Arman! I have the same problem with friends. Some don’t understand why I don’t want to go out every night because they’re still in that stage of their lives. There’s nothing wrong with that! To each his own… but I can’t afford to spend the whole next day in college-hangover style because I could either be 1. studying 2. working or 3. don’t feel like puking lol… That’s why I keep reminding myself to stick with the ones who have similar drive & ideals and accept that sometimes we grow apart from the ones we never thought we would grow apart from.
I’ve had to walk away from a few friendships. One of them is still close friends with my other friends which can make it awkward at times but I had to walk away for me as I was putting in 100% into a friendship and getting 20% in return and in the end once I evaluated it I decided that I’d rather spend more time and energy on another friendship than focus on it. Like you I get busy with the gym and life in general so I wanted to make sure the friends I was spending time with were worth it.
Don’t get me started on the amount of wasted hours I had on relationships when I was younger before I met Nick 😉
Love this post!! We are so on the same page on so many things!
Have a great weekend my dear ❤
Ahhh yes, the 100/20 problem. Story of my relationships hahaha. It’s hard but sometimes we have to let go of those relationships… I personally struggle with that in my own life because I feel guilty. But there comes a point where we can’t waste any more time/energy trying to make things work. Haha and it’s never wasted time!!! I’m sure you learned very valuable lessons… at least that’s how I try to look at my past relationships. My most recent was a year and a half and I learned soooooo much about myself (and even more after we broke up, which I definitely needed for individual growth). Glad we’re on the same page my love! Hope you’re having a great week so far!!!
Julie this is awesome. Such a great reminder! Really got me thinking. Life’s too short. You owe it to YOURSELF to do what’s best for you….and, sad but true, there are people out there that don’t have your best intentions in mind, that don’t care for you the way you care for them….and it’s not fair.
-Sammy
I couldn’t agree more Sammy! It’s definitely not fair, and it’s also not fair for us to waste our time trying to please people who can’t be pleased! Life is WAY too short to be surrounded by small-minded, negative individuals. Sorry but I need to laugh and have fun and be positive or else I’d go CRAZY!!
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This one hits home so hard. Not so much in the family sense, since like you, I have a great relationship with mine, but relationships is a big one. I have had people in my life for far too long that I needed to let go of. Using the mantra “if it’s meant to be, it will be” has worked wonders for me although I have to admit it’s still a struggle from time to time. We should only keep people in our lives who want to be there, and most importantly, that don’t interfere with our mental or physical wellbeing. We deserve to be happy and if there are people that hinder that, it’s time to let go, as hard as that may be. It’s such a hard lesson to learn. I feel like I’m still learning.
Ahhh yes, it’s definitely still a struggle and I’m still learning as well. Half the time I write blogs I’m also talking to myself as a reminder! I’ve learned that there’s a limit when it comes to relationships – if I can look back and say I’ve done everything I possibly can and it still didn’t work out, then it’s definitely time to move on. We always think we “could have done more” but really, some people just don’t work together. I know that I needed to be free from a relationship to experience a LOT of personal growth that I couldn’t have done in a relationship. So I just try to look at it like I won’t be single forever, so I might as well enjoy the time I have to be selfish now and then when the time is right, Mr. Prince will walk right into my life as if he was always meant to be there 😉 haha
What a wonderful post! It’s so sad but it’s such a part of growing up.
I’m in the same boat right now – I’m kind of figuring out how to live life without the people who don’t “serve” a purpose in my life. If they aren’t making me happy or making me a better person, why waste my time? This past year was my first year really single in a long time. It was so confusing and hard at first and now I’m just learning how to enjoy life on my own… it’s just worrying me that I’m enjoying being a hermit a little too much.
Great post and it is very, very true. I think learning when to let go and how to actually do it gets a little easier as we get older. At least it has for me. In the long run the important people are the ones who you hang onto. Still it can be hard to let go, because we think we did something wrong or we think we can fix our relationship with someone. It is tough to let someone go and want them back, but God will bring them back if he wants. Sucks certain things are out of our control, but we really need to focus on what we can control.