We Want What We Can’t Have

Confession: I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I should. But I’ve been having way too much fun and sometimes (most of the time) the two just don’t go hand in hand.

Confession: I’ve been drinking too much Diet Coke and chewing too much gum. I’ve actually cut way back on the amount of gum I chew, thanks to some wise words from my friend Sydney that went something like this: “STOP SMACKING YOUR GUM. YOU SOUND LIKE A HORSE.” I totally see the resemblance:


Confession: My mind has been all over the place lately. I’ve been getting lost on regular routes that I travel every day because I’m so lost in my thoughts. I guess you could say I’ve been in a “funk” lately and can’t pinpoint the exact reason. Perhaps it has something to do with the topic of today’s blog post.

We always want what we can’t have. I think it’s an innate part of human nature. We’re born with this constant craving for more, more, more. All the time. Even kids recognize it:

“We want more, we want more. Like, we really like it, we want more!” <– So stinkin’ cute. 

But if we really got what we wished so badly for, would we even want it any more? There are many times in life I’ve fanticized about having something. That thing is the key to my happiness. Once I have it, I’m set. Life will be perfect.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. In the past when I got what I so desperately WISH I had, it wasn’t as glamorous as I thought it would be. Once the newness faded and the excitement was gone I thought to myself, “This is IT? This is what I worried/stressed about/wanted for so long?”

We can see how this easily applies to our relationships. We’ve all been in the beginning stages of a new relationship. You go on a date and almost immediately start worrying when to call, if they’ll call you, or what you’ll even say when either occurs. Of course, this is only to realize two weeks later you’ve already completely lost interest. What made you want them so badly before? Because you couldn’t have them. It was the chase.

When I first became interested in eating healthy, I just wanted what I didn’t have: a toned physique, skinny legs, collarbones, defined cheekbones.  I must say, they aren’t all that glamorous when you have to take dangerous measures to achieve them. Once I became more toned (which, by the way, didn’t happen over night), it’s not like I woke up one day with 15,000x more confidence, guys lined up at my door or 15 new job offers. <– I got all those because I’m awesome, not my biceps 😉 HA, I wish. 

If we focus on what we don’t have, we will be stuck in the past. I watched an online streaming church service last night and, as always, it’s like the big man upstairs knew just how I was feeling. The pastor said, “Whatever God has for you is not behind you.” That’s right. It’s ahead of you.

The sooner we let go of wanting what we don’t have, the sooner we will:
1. Get something better
2. Realize what we wanted isn’t even what we REALLY wanted in the first place.

All we can do is be thankful for what we DO have and stop focusing on what we DON’T have. 

[Of Possible Interest:]

Romanticism… And Not in the Way You May Think
Gratitude via Psychology Today <– one of my all-time favorite websites! I could browse the articles for days. 
Stopped Focusing on Results and Started Seeing Them